I’m in between writing some long winded reviews right now and needed to post something for this week so here we are. This is a product that one of my friends, Scott, who lives in the Philippines, brought with him last time he visited the States for me to try. He knew this would be a fun one for me to review as it’s just a pitiful attempt at a hot sauce and I usually get more creative with my reviews when that happens. According to Scott, Mother’s Best: Hot Sauce (which is labeled, “World’s Hottest”) is what they have on all the tables out there and everyone thinks it is extremely hot. This should get interesting….

Mother’s Best: Hot Sauce Ingredients: Fresh Chili Labuyo extract, cane vinegar, modified starch, iodized salt, sane sugar, 0.1% sodium benzoate and artificial color.

First off, I have to comment on both the name and packaging. “Hot Sauce”? That’s the best name you can come up for you product? Since Mother’s Best doesn’t have a website, I can’t verify whether or not they have generic names for all their products (ie: Mother’s Best: Water). Speaking of labeling, the label comes right off…looks like I won’t be purchasing Mother’s Best: Label Glue any time in the near future.

The sauce, which doesn’t look as artificial in its color as the ingredients would imply, comes in a 1.7 ounce, plastic bottle. Thin consistency, red liquid with small dots of pepper (?) in it. Pours very fast so you can accidentally go through half the bottle in one use. Speaking of ingredients, I’ve get a reaction from consuming artificial colors, so I’m taking one for the team on this review.

This. Tastes. Disgusting. I’m mean, reeeeaaaaally disgusting. Imagine “wine made in a jail house toilet” bad. The consistency, despite looking thin, actually has a thick, coating, slimy, oily mouth feel to it. My tongue is actually squirming in my mouth in hopes to get this stuff off of it. Sorry, tongue, we’ve got a review to do.

Right off the bat come the vinegar taste with some corn syrup like sweetness that is absolutely revolting. Then a slight hot pepper like taste comes in. The ingredient list it as being Chili Labuyo extract and after some searching it looks like Chili Labuyo is just Birdseye Peppers which would explain the “World’s Hottest” label on the sauce. Someone should inform the company that Birdseye Pepper’s haven’t been the world’s hottest for many years now. There is no bitter, “extract flavor” here, just disgusting flavor so I’m not sure what extract or extract method they are using. Who knows, maybe they think straining smashed pepper mash and add it to vinegar is “extract”.

Let’s talk heat now…or for the most part, lack there of. My friend (and partial owner of La Cave Du Vin), Erich LaSher had just had some Habanero Peanuts and I gave him a spoonful of this sauce, it actually killed the heat in his mouth! I told him it had extract in it to which he responded, “Extract of what? Cool, soothing flavor?”. Yep, the only bite here is that of the vinegar and horrible flavors.

There you have it. For once I’m going to use the word, “pity”. I actually pity the people of the Philippines for having to be put through the misery of having this as their most widely used hot sauce. The United Nations should be called in on this one or maybe Red Cross should ship them some CaJohn sauces. I know! Let’s hold a benefit concert to raise awareness for the culinary suffering these people are being forced to live through. We can call it “Spice Aid”.

Taste: -2 (that’s right, negative two), Heat: -0 (yep, this is so bad it’s actually inventing numbers)

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