Wendy’s 4-Alarm Spicy Chicken Sandwich Ingredients: Chicken filet, artisan bread, Pepper Jack cheese, pickled Jalapenos, chipotle sauce, lettuce, tomato and a more artificial colors and flavors then you can shake a stick at.

Fast food. In the fight to make the citizens of the United States of America fatter, lazier, more dumb, and unhealthy, it is one of the major culprits. Artificial flavors, colors, preservatives, grease, and many other nasty things are some of the main ingredients in the thing that they call “food”. And I ate it for this review.

Wendy’s Old Fashioned Hamburgers (why it’s old fashioned I have not one clue) are just one of the many main stream companies that are attempting to jump on the Fiery Foods bandwagon. Their advertisements showing people sweating and reaching for water are all over the TV, radio, and surprising enough, Hot Pepper Forums. So in the best interest of our loyal readers, I decided to take one for the team and eat this mass manufactured muckamuck.

I guess I’ll start with the few things I found positive and work my way down. The breaded chicken was actually tasty (probably due to some flavoring ingredient injected into the meat). It was soft and juicy which was a stark contrast to the bone dry and chewy expectation I had. The meat came with some sort of rub that was sprinkled on before it was heated in the warming tray to “cook” it. I definitely detected Cayenne pepper and I believe that is where their idea of “heat” in this sandwich comes from. Keep in mind I detected the flavor, but not the heat.

The bun was riding the edge of decent. I would barely call it bread though because it was more like a hard shell of a crust housing some sort of spongy substance that obviously had so much yeast thrown in before cooking to make it seem like it was bread when in fact it was nothing but air. Then there were the Jalapenos. Unripened, pickled Jalapenos, pickled for God’s sake! First off, when you pickle peppers the heat drops drastically (Jalapenos barely have heat to begin with), and second it tastes like a pickle, not a Jalapeno. So the taste of a soggy, cold pickle was on top of my slightly room temperature sandwich. It threw off the taste of the whole thing and just didn’t fit.

The Pepper Jack cheese was more along the lines of just plain Jack Cheese. I think I spotted one or two flakes of pepper in there but I can’t be sure. And the chipotle sauce? I’m sorry, was that supposed to taste like chipotle? It tasted more like ranch dressing than chipotle, no pepper flavor or heat at all, just artificial colors, flavors, and probably some hideously bad thickening agent that’ll be lodged in my arteries from the next 20 years.

Oh, and speaking of artificial colors, there’s the tomatoes. I am 100% sure they pumped the tomatoes full of red food coloring. I instantly recognized the bright color and run off that results in the use of coloring. Disgusting, just plain disgusting. Lastly is the Romaine lettuce, which would have been the only thing remotely healthy about this “meal” if it were not for the pesticides and growth hormones it was pumped full of when grown. It hardly had any leaf to the thing. It was mostly just white spine with a little half an inch green leaf section on each side.

Now, I have to say that I am pleased that more and more of the “big” companies are making an attempt to recognize that more and more people are eating spicy foods. By having this on the menu, it also creates an avenue for people who haven’t had spicy to be introduced to a whole new world of culinary possibilities laced with pleasurable endorphin rushes. But come on people! Get your act together! At this point you probably are turning people away from the Fiery Foods industry by giving them a product so pitifully bad that they’ll have a horrible experience to base their opinion of what our area has to offer.

Taste: 2, Heat: 0.2371

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